Few days away from my 3 year anniversary!

Last labs I had done were in September 2019 and they were great! I was told to do my labs every 3 months and have a gallium scan, then I would be good for a while. Well I felt so good, going to the ocean, working out 3-4 hours a day so much energy working on my writing and films I was living a true best life. After the holidays I was planning to go get my labs but kept having issues with my new insurance and somehow it was March! I finally had my new insurance about to make my appointments and then corona turned this world upside down! Instead of getting my labs and scans and getting to see my family that was all coming for the first visit, we were locked down, school was online and I was scared to get groceries. People were dying in huge numbers and somehow cancer was not my priority. I felt good, just sad like all of us and just not sure of the future. World became dangerous just to go outside. I was not able to workout as much and begun to loose all my muscles that I worked hard to gain and just became a blob. Now three months later as things are opening up and we are more conditioned to this new life I decided to check my labs because of my zebra network’s encouragement we should still do our checks.

I have not been able to sleep for a long time so it has been making me feel sick. I did my labs in the mask. Few days later, while having a lovely b’day lunch for a friend on the ocean I received my results and was very saddened to see my levels have shot up high. I continued to have lunch and ordered another champagne when my doctor called me saying I need to get a pet scan right away and they already cleared it with my insurance really in a 30 minute span? I went from low numbers to high and oh shit I need a scan like today? I got on the phone with the hospital to set up my scan and could not even enjoy this lunch with friends(probably the last one for a while) or the ocean went right to work.

To say that I am not worried would be a lie….my scan is today! I started an extreme diet on Monday drinking two meal shakes a day to clean my colon and to have the best picture I can have. Well yes I know it is nuts to starve for four days but I just want them to see everything inside without reporting again we could not see anything because patient was full of shit. So I survived 4 days on 500 calories and don’t even feel hungry. This is never easy for me, my veins are bad from all these labs and previous scans so some times they bust open sometimes I need a team of nurses to try to find the right vein. I then get anxiety attack and just takes everything out of me. This is a new place I have never been there before, have no idea how it will go and I am alone. I know so many of us go through this, way too many cancer patients in this world!!!I don’t even get scared to hear we found something because my cancer never goes away so hearing that they see something it is actually a good thing because then I can cut it out and wait for a new one to grow and hopefully make it to another birthday and another milestone for my children. My scan actually went very well. The technician and nurse were super awesome, needle went in no issues and I had a private room to chill while contrast was flowing around in my body. The difference other than being in a new state and new cancer center it was also in masks!

After the scan I picked up take out for the family so I can just go home and relax.

I had to wait for results when I saw the new specialist the one we moved here for.

Results….

Mostly clear with a new hot spot on my pancreas…..to be continued