Big 5th Zebraverssary!!

I can not believe it has been 5 years now since I was diagnosed and my entire life has changed. Covid 19 is still around but I guess this is our new normal. I had a booster after my vaccines so I think this will be what we have to do for now. I still wear my mask most of the time and frankly when I don’t have it I feel naked….I still wipe my food and comes in but I think it is a good idea regardless of what is out here these days. making it to this anniversary is very special to me. When I was diagnosed and read these awful statistics with my cancer that spread I had very low chances on making it this far so to say I am happy that I made year five is understatement. I still have many struggles personally everyday and some days are just better than others but I have to accept that I will be living with this disease for the rest of my life is still better than not living at all….I say this because this year has been super hard on our family. My father in law’s cancer came back with a vengeance and he lost his battle on April 18th 2022. Soon after his passing my furry bff cat Oreo started declining in his health so we were back and forth to the vet, meds, tests and a failed surgery to remove a mass in his belly he sadly fought super hard until he passed in October 9th. I was hoping for a clean scan and blood work on myself since the year was not over and I had a bad feeling. My scans and blood work comeback negative with just a small cell count that I have had for the past 5 years now. Unfortunately this was not the end…..My husband started feeling bad and we were on the edge of what was happening to someone who was healthy and a runner. We were not prepared for what was coming our way yet again. He ended up in the hospital several times admitted for few days at a time frustrated, in pain and scared for what we could be facing as a family. Scans and tests all showed unspecified tumor on his pancreas. The worst fucking news you can get in your 40’s as a healthy person non drinking or smoker or anything else this seemed unreal. To celebrate my remission it just feels wrong in so many ways. I am glad I can be there through his fight and our new normal as a family……….