Week 3

Wish I could say that I am getting stronger but I think I am just weak and worn out for now.  Spent the weekend sleeping and not doing much of anything. I am paralyzed with fear of pet scan results. We had hosted the Labor day at our house they brought food and I barely ate I just stayed on the couch.  Nice distraction tho from my mind.  Still painful loose bm’s and hot flashes and night soaks prevent me from sleeping a full night. I feel very tired just hope I get stronger soon.  Worked a few days and keep loosing lbs the lowest was 114 which kind of scares me but I do my best with eating. Try to drive boys from school,  and even  went to son’s soccer game which was very hard because I get out of breath very fast and it is still 80’s outside.

Another week gone by not many changes other than my cuts are healing ok and the unsightly scar tissue bump around my belly button incision seems to finally start looking smaller which makes me happy because it looked big like a nasty deformity.

I am sad for a friend who has breast cancer and everything for her is going the other way. She will get chemo and not only this but it is very aggressive so her life expectancy is pretty much unknown we chat on Facebook try to keep each other in positive spirits.  I feel so bad for her because she has little kids and she is very young.  I hate keeping secrets from the kids and want them to know why I am so sick but they just started school and I know this news would be very hard on them so I hope when we do tell them it is a good news.     The worst part of all these tests is always waiting for results like the world moves full speed around me and I live in a slow motion bubble.