Surgery

Surgery

to remove unknown  2 cm mass on my colon

I had to empty my colon night before, and I could hardly sleep.  Just kept thinking about past couple months where this all started and where it ended up.  It was hard to deal with this as well because kids were starting school, eldest senior year and youngest freshman.  I also had a full time job which was very important to me.  Most of all scared of the outcome of this mass and waking up with a colostomy bag or worse.  My surgeon was not making me feel like I should be scared so I just tried to feed off of his positive vibe.  We got to the hospital in the morning.  I have never been to this hospital so I had no idea what to expect at all.  I sat in the room with my husband who was trying to hold it together for me.  I was making jokes and also tried to stay positive.  Had to strip in the prep room and wipe down entire body with antiseptic solution…  After the wipe down, they started an  IV and put on several bracelets with id and information.  I had the lovely standard edition gown and socks and a fabulous metallic surgical cap for my head.  They put me into the bed and attached machine operated pressure leg sleeves to prevent blood clots.  My surgery was pushed a bit because of complication in previous case.  They asked me standard questions, talked to anesthesiologist and we rolled down the hallway as I said goodbye to my hubby and I yelled if I am in a coma please fight for me to comeback.  In this situation I had a brief thought about the fact that I do not have a will.  Hopefully I will be back and then make one.

We got to the surgical room, I was still awake they got me shifted over to the table put pads and other things on me…I started to get scared. This room is small, outdated and green.  Looked like where animals are put down, just did not have a good feeling that I will wake up. They put a mask on me and I went out.

I woke up  to find out there were complications and a big surgery and I ended up in my own hospital room. I did not know yet what happened but my sister and husband were sitting there waiting for doctor to let us know what happened.  Unfortunately they found another mass while taking the original mass out. They took over two feet of my colon, appendix, 21 lymph nodes and the mass in question.  They told me it will take at least 5 days before I can go home.  So we went from same day discharge to maybe go home in 5 days…..

I was surprised also to hear that my doctor suspected a lymphoma. The mass they saw on all scans was actually a dead swollen lymph node,  and did not even see the actual mass until I was opened up.  My doc decided to look all around and spotted another tumor which I will forever be thankful.

I was in a bad shape did not even remember conversation with the doctor…thanks to my sister who recorded this moment so I can watch it later.