How did my cancer start
The beginning of my cancer journey……it has almost been a year from the surgery and my diagnosis. But let me go back to when my ordeal begun.
Before June 2017 I felt like I was very full even though my stomach was empty, always uncomfortable and bloated. I drink a lot of water and my urine was almost clear so I know I was not storing anything in my colon. Bowel movements have changed a bit to very soft in consistency as well as lots of pressure around my end. I asked my doc about it months ago and she was not too concerned. She run some blood work and that’s it. Summer approached and I was enjoying time with my kids before going back to work in July. In June we took a trip to Naperville got to go on paddle boats, did little window shopping and had red mango treat. I had frozen yogurt with some fruit. Next morning, I woke up feeling slight cramps which I thought to be my period cramps as well as some possible muscle soreness from boating.
The cramps have been constant all day and gaining in strength. I was busy but aware of the pain. In the evening I was cramping badly but I did pass stool so I did not think it was appendix. After everyone went to bed I could not get in any position to relieve pain. I am not a person who goes to ER and would fight through pain. My son had an audition for a big movie the next day I was his coach so I knew I need to get better. By 2 am I was crying in severe pain, it felt like labor contractions except not going away so one giant contraction lasting for hours. By 4am I could not take it anymore. I called my sister to see if she can take me to ER in the morning and asked my husband to take our son to the audition, I did not want him to miss it! As the morning rolled in and I vomited throughout the night I was exhausted in severe pain crying and just wanted to die. In ER they did blood work and started me on morphine which needed help from another pain all IV and finally it was under control. Then they did a cat scan thinking it can be a blockage or other issue. They did not see blockage or appendix they said I most likely have colitis and sent me home with pain meds and antibiotics. Although the pain never returned I felt sick for a while. They told me to go to my doctor and possibly a GI doctor. So, my doctor sent me to a GI who ordered colonoscopy and endoscopy. I was scared but I knew that I will be sleeping and will not know what happened which makes it less uncomfortable. My sister made a little video when I was coming out from the anesthesia…
After couple of weeks I went to the GI for the consultation on the findings. I was thinking it was nothing there and I will be back to square one. But the NP walked in she was rough and not very friendly. I never seen her before. She asked me bunch of routine questions and showed me some pictures and report. She informed me that there were no polyps and no blockages but there is a mass around my colon and my stomach looks thick. When she felt my stomach, she said well when we see a mass in the spot it is in your case it is usually stage 4 cancer without a positive outcome and she just left the room. I was numb, alone and very scared. Started to cry and think omg she just told me I am dead without a cure. I was thinking about my kids and how much I will miss them and even if I died in 6 months it was not enough time to do anything with them.
I cried on the way home had no idea how to share this information. I kept going to work like nothing is going on. Told my husband and my sisters. I had many tests following that lovely consultation. Two more MRI’s and CT scans more blood work and ultrasound, the results were inconclusive. This is all taking place during one month, dealing with multiple referrals between doctors and HMO, so many calls at work between takes I kept on calling and talking to different doctors and thinking of the worst scenarios. I had to keep working and pretending I am ok to my kids. My husband was changing jobs so we would possibly loose our insurance so I was even more scared, if this is stage 4 cancer I will not have a fighting chance without coverage and if he changes jobs I may not be covered. This was so emotionally exhausting. Finally, I was referred to a general surgeon for a consultation. He was super nice and made me feel like I was going to be ok. He took his time asking me questions, and going over the numerous scans and labs and said this will have to come out so we can see what we are dealing with and do the biopsy. I saw him on a Wednesday and we scheduled the surgery for that Friday. I knew that I was off few days and as he said I will be back on my feet in couple days. This was a same day surgery by laparoscopy so in and out home the same day. I was not scared just apprehensive with anesthesia but glad it was a quick thing. Had no idea it was going to be nothing short and fast……
Check out my surgery post
