Week 2 You Have Cancer!

Week started off with a bomb! We went to the appointment I was still hoping that it was nothing big but I knew in my gut that it was going to be bad.  We walked in after the vitals were taken he came in and after a quick chat. He got right to the point. As you probably know we got the biopsy results back and I am sorry but it came back cancerous. Boom a bomb went off in my body! What did he say? I have cancer????? He started rambling on about the type it was and that was a shock as well. I was prepared to hear about lymphoma but NET? Never heard of it.  He did say he thought it was all out they took 21 lymph nodes out only 12 were positive, took around two feet of my colon out and appendix. He said that I need to go see oncologist and then we said oh bty we loose our insurance for a month in a few days.  He said let me take you to the oncologist one floor down from here and I will make sure you see him today. He just went with us and stood at the office until they made sure I will see this doctor

I was surprised that a doctor could do that for a patient.  Ladies at the desk did some serious magic because they got a referral from my reg doc ( HMO) approved in minutes! I went to see doctor who ordered few more tests also aware of the insurance situation who said he will see me for free until we get our insurance.  He ordered a 24 urine, a K test that shows how fast this cancer grows in my body and a Pet scan to see if it spread anywhere else.  Have to do all this in 4 days!!!!  No time to breathe! We get out of there and go straight to the lab pickup my urine test bottle and get my blood drawn.  Then we drive back home fast so I can get a referral for PET scan again from my primary ( who left the practice and I have a new doctor) and I need to see her to get my meds for next month and get the scan scheduled phewww.

And I actually was able to do this before insurance run out! It was nuts

to say the least.  I had the scan done on the last day of August!

Still very weak but also now very scared about the spread.  What do we say to our boys? We decided to wait until we get the PET results and blood work before we talk to them.

Back on the couch….

Bathroom situation did not improve still spending most of my day in and out if bathroom with severe pain while going #2 I tried timing Norco before I had to go but never successful and always in pain.

Can’t sleep trying to process all this and can’t even imagine dying right now…..getting a bit depressed so useless and incapable.

It feel like my Kids just walk around me like I am already dead  🙁

I will try going back to work to see if I can keep my mind off things while we wait for PET results.

I went to work on Friday with my co worker who lives near me so it was nice and I did not have to worry about driving under influence of pain meds and no food in my body.  Work was good, received many hugs and kind words and even a card along with a very cozy cancer blanket and socks that said fuck cancer.  I took many breaks under the blanket moved slower but kept my gait.  Had few close calls in the bathroom but managed to avoid a nasty disaster.

After work went home and crashed back on the couch.  Exhausted and hurting but glad to be working.  Bowels are still loose and very painful and bad hot flashes as well as night soaks.  Eating is tricky I don’t want to eat so I don’t have to go to the bathroom waiting for pet results is killing me!